Broken Bella
by horrorpopper
Summary: This story is set 5 years after Edward leaves Bella, who is now a drug addict and prostitute. What will happen when she meets the Cullens once again?
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

"_Come on Bella, hold yourself together. Just a couple more and you can go to your happy place." _I thought to myself.

It was freezing and the streets were empty. I was always anxious when it was like this, but I couldn't go home yet. Home. It wasn't much of a home, not like Renee's place back in Phoenix, or the small home I had shared with Charlie Back in Forks, but it was all I could afford and, besides, it wasn't like I spent much time there, anyway.

Forks. I tried not to think about the place when I was working. It just made me depressed, which put the clients off, and I needed the money. Although, there were many good memories of my time spent in Forks, they were greatly overshadowed by the awful, heartbreaking events, which led to my exit from the rainy little town.

It had been almost five years since I left, and I still hadn't got over it. My whole life was ruined, and I couldn't see any way out. My dad had tried everything he could to help me out after _He_, left me alone and broken in the woods that night, but it was no use; he just didn't understand what I had lost, no one did. They thought it was just a typical teenage relationship, and I was being unreasonable, but it was so much more than that - to me, anyway.

A beaten up silver car pulled up in front of me, bringing me back to the present. The guy in the driver's seat motioned to me, and I quickly jumped into the passenger seat. He was new. I had quite a few regulars in this area, mainly, I guessed, because so few girls strayed this far from safety, and the one's who did, weren't exactly the best the street had to offer.

He drove us to a secluded spot on the edge of town, and parked the car. He just wanted the usual—thank God, he wasn't a weirdo; I couldn't deal with that tonight. When we were done, I got him to drive me back into town, and I made my way back to the damp, crumbling old apartment I called home.

Although I'd left Forks, I actually hadn't gone too far. I couldn't bear to go any further than Seattle. I had grown accustomed to endless clouds and rain; it seemed appropriate. Plus, I was sort of hoping for a reconciliation with Charlie at some point. I knew how much I had hurt him those last few months- that was why I left. I didn't like what I had become and I was ashamed that I was allowing Charlie to see me that way, he deserved better, but I hoped one day, I would sort out my life and be with him again. He was my Dad, he loved me, and I knew he would welcome me back with open arms—when I was ready.

I turned on the lights, the dim bulb flickering, and searched the kitchen drawer for my escape. After a few minutes of fumbling, I found the small package; my salvation. After a few more seconds, I found the needle, and then, I was in paradise. The grey walls crumbled around me and I was transported to a beautiful meadow, filled with all manner of brightly coloured flowers, a cool breeze washing over me, and all the pain was gone, for a little while, at least.

All too soon, I was dumped back into reality, as the sun began to rise, my beautiful meadow disappearing with the night. I would work again, in the evening, but, until then, I needed to keep my mind occupied. I noticed that the cupboards were bare, save for a few Pop Tarts that seemed to have a permanent home on the shelf, so, I decided it would be a good idea to go grocery shopping.

I hated the way the people at the store looked at me, judged me. I was a person just like everyone else, and had as much right to be there as they did. Did they expect me to starve? Or, did they think that there was a special store where all the junkies and lowlife's were permitted to shop? I tried to ignore them as I threw a few things into my basket.

That's when I saw him; Carlisle Cullen! I couldn't believe my eyes! I thought that, when they left me that day, I would never see them again. _He_ had promised me.

"_It will be like I never existed."_ He had told me.

But, it was definitely Carlisle Cullen, there was no mistaking. He was as handsome as ever, as he stood at the checkout, waiting patiently, to be served. I panicked, he hadn't seen me yet, obviously hadn't noticed my scent or he would have turned around, I thought. I quietly, placed my basket on the ground, right in the middle of the aisle and ran out of the store, not looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

My legs felt like jelly as I stumbled home. I could barely believe what I had just seen. Carlisle. The man I had once looked upon as a second father, and if he was here, so were the rest of them – they always travelled together, moving from one place to another, avoiding detection.

Silently, I cursed my stupidity. I should have moved to a warm, sunny state, somewhere where there would be absolutely no chance of bumping into them. But, in all honesty, I never, in my wildest dreams, thought I would come face to face with any of them again. It was so unlikely, but I was prone to bad luck.

When I reached my apartment, I locked the door, and slumped to the floor. Due to me abandoning the grocery shopping, there was no food to be seen, but I had lost my appetite anyway. Now that I was free from detection, for the time being, I needed to work out what my next move would be.

I couldn't leave my apartment that night – they might see me. This meant no work, no money and no release from the endless pain of my life. It had been so long since I had gone without the heavy stuff, that I didn't know if I would even make it through the night, but going out wasn't an option. He had broken my heart and ruined my life, and I knew I would fall further into the black hole if I ever saw him again.

I had to run. It hit me, after innumerable hours curled up on the cold, dirty floor of my apartment, trying to fight the cold sweats and cramps of my withdrawal. I didn't know if they were planning to stay in the area, but if there was any chance they were, I couldn't stick around. I pulled myself up from the floor and made my way to the bedroom. I took out the single overnight bag, I had took from Charlie's the night I left, and began to pack the few possessions I owned. I would leave in the morning.

Morning came too quickly. I hadn't slept all night – part of the withdrawal process. I scraped my hair back and quickly changed into an old flannel shirt and a denim mini skirt. It was still early – 5am, and I needed money. If I was going to get out of town, now was not the time to be battling my addiction. I set off to my usual spot, not hopeful of finding a client at this hour, but desperate enough to hope.

For once, I had a lucky break. After only a few minutes, a beaten up old Chevy pulled up to the kerb beside me. I tossed my bag over my shoulder and clambered into the car. The driver was a big guy, he must work out. He had long, greasy hair and a shaggy beard.

"Let's go somewhere a little more private." he suggested.

"Sure thing" I replied.

He drove for a few blocks, chatting, inanely the whole time, before pulling up outside a crumbling old building, which, I was sure, hadn't been used for years. The windows were boarded up and the dry rot was visible. This place was a death trap for sure.

We got out of the car and he led me into the building.

" Here we go sweetheart. It aint exactly a palace, but your no princess now, are you?" he laughed.

" I guess not, no." I was in no mood for talking, I just wanted to get it over and done with.

"Pretty little thing though. Much better than all the other gals, round these parts."

"Um, thanks...shall we?"

"Why not." He grinned as he walked towards me, and I heard a swishing noise.

I immediately started to panic. I knew that noise, it was the sound of a switch blade knife. I took a step back, but I was cornered, as he moved ever closer. Time seemed to stop, although it was only a few seconds before he spoke again.

"Scream, and I will cut you." he said, so calmly that it was almost surreal.

I just nodded. I was so scared, but I knew there was nothing I could do. He placed his hand over my mouth as he cut off my clothes with his knife. He began to touch my body all over, laughing all the time.

I wanted to cry, but I was stubborn – I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He began to unbuckle his belt, and something in me snapped. I was at least going to try and fight him off. I wouldn't make it easy for him, and, well, if he did kill me, so what. I had nothing to live for anyway.

I kicked him, hard in the stomach. He flew back a little, startled, but, I was no match for him.

"You bitch!" he screamed at me as lifted his belt up, over his shoulder and struck me hard across the chest. I fell to the ground instantly, and began to cower. He crouched over me, grabbed my hair and banged my head, repeatedly on the cold ground. Everything went black. I was glad.

When I woke up, I was disorientated, my vision was blurred and the light was blinding. It took me a while to realise I was in a hospital. There were tubes and needles connected to various parts of my body, and I was in so much pain. I didn't think it was possible, but this was worse than when I was almost killed by James back in Phoenix. If only he had finished the job.

The monitor beside my bed must have alerted the nurse because she came running into my room.

"How are you feeling, honey?" she asked sympathetically. She had honey brown hair, and such a sweet face. She reminded me of...

_oh no. _I thought as she looked down on me, waiting for a reply. _I'm in a hospital! But, surely he won't be here. I can't be that unlucky!._

"I'm OK." I answered, the now worried nurse.

"You've been through quite an ordeal, darling. I've paged the new doctor for you, he'll be here shortly."

_New doctor! O no, this can't be happening, it can't be him._ One of the monitors beside my bed began to beep.

"Oh my, your heart rate is soaring." the nurse looked concerned. "Doctor Cullen, Doctor Cullen." she shouted as she ran off to find him.

I had to get out of here.


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't believe this was happening to me. My body ached and I felt faint, but I had to get out of this bed, and out of the hospital, before he found me here. There were so many needles, tubes and monitors connected to me though, I knew I would never make it out in time, but still I tried. I began to rip the needles out of my arms; it hurt like hell, and the blood made me woozy. I fell, but instead of hitting the ground, I felt a pair of hard, cold hands beneath me, picking me up, and placing me back on the bed.

"Bella! What has happened to you?" Carlisle said, a mixture of shock and concern, present in his tone.

I was frozen, unable to speak. I just stared blankly at my once father figure, as he assessed the damage my frail body had been subjected to.

"Bella, darling, are you OK? Can you hear me?"

"I-I'm fine. I've had worse. I'm sure you remember." I said acidly.

"Yes, I remember. Would you please lie back down and rest, Bella. I need to re-attach the monitors. It will be a little uncomfortable."

"Actually, I would rather just leave." I said, trying to keep my cool.

"That just isn't possible. You have been seriously hurt, and I can't ensure your safety if you leave. The police will need to speak to you anyway."

"My safety really isn't any of your concern Carlisle, and I'm sure the police won't mind speaking to me at my home."

"Please Bella, just stay put. Your safety may not be my concern, but as a doctor, your health certainly is."

"Can't I transfer to another hospital, then?"

"Please, don't be difficult. I want to help you, Bella." he pleaded.

As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't continue to be rude to Carlisle. He had always been so good to me back in Forks. He had fixed me up more times than I cared to remember, and he had always treated me as one of his own – until he left that is. So, I decided this was one fight I would have to lose, for now.

"Ok, Carlisle, I'll stay a while longer, but I will be leaving _soon._"

"Thank you, I would have been so worried if you left."

"But Carlisle, I don't want you telling _anyone_ that I'm here.|"

"Bella, I ca-"

"Fine, I'll leave now, then."

"OK, OK, I won't breathe a word of it, I have some other patients to attend to. I'll be back later. I need to find out what has happened to you."

Great. I really wasn't up for a friendly discussion with the local vampire doctor. I had loved them once, but they had all betrayed me when they left. Of course, Edward was the one who had shattered my heart into tiny pieces,never to be repaired, but losing his family, too, that had been more than I could stand. It had left me distraught, desperate and broken. I had hurt my friends and my family and had lost everything – all because I wasn't good enough to be a Cullen.

I didn't owe them anything now, not an explanation or a kind word. Nothing. Yet, if I was being completely honest with myself, this wasn't the only reason I wanted to avoid Carlisle and his questions. The truth was, I didn't want them to find out what I had become. I was a junkie and a prostitute. They would be disgusted with me, repulsed, and I knew that would hurt me more than I could stand.

As I lay in my uncomfortable hospital bed, waiting for Carlisle to return, I thought, more than once about getting up and running, but I had given him my word ,I would be here when he got back, and _I_ kept my promises.

After maybe 20 minutes, the big white doors which led into my room opened, and Carlisle walked, slowly across the room to sit in the small chair beside me.

"I kept my word, I hope you kept yours." I said, a little sharper than I should have.

"Don't worry Bella. None of the family know you are here, yet."

"Yet! Carlisle! Yo are not going to tell any of them about this. Ever." As I said those words, a thought occurred to me, one which I hadn't considered before. _Even if Carlisle didn't tell any of the Cullen's I had been here tonight, there was one who would find out anyway. HE would surely read Carlisle's thoughts, and get a full picture of tonight, and then, there was Alice! Had she had a vision? Was I expected at the hospital? _I gasped.

"Bella, darling, are you in pain?"

"No, I'm fine. He already knows, doesn't he?"

"Who knows what?" Carlisle asked, confused.

"He, E-Edward. He knows I'm here. Alice – she would have.."

"No Bella. Edward has no idea. Alice hasn't had a vision of you since we left Forks."

This new information, although it relived me, was still a shock. In the back of my mind, I had always considered the possibility that Alice would still have visions of me; that she was know how I was living my life now and that she would hate me for it, but I tried to put it out of my mind, after all, I would never see them again, I had thought. But she hadn't seen me at all. I wondered why that was, but I didn't care enough to ask.

"But, you must know that, once I return home, Edward will, of course, find out that I saw you here tonight."

"Damn him and his inconvenient little gift." I muttered.

Carlisle smiled a little, before the concerned look returned to his features.

"Yes, it can be a little inconvenient can't it, but I'm not sure I could have kept this from him in any case."

"Ever heard of doctor- patient confidentiality?" I said sarcastically.

"I'm sure, whoever came up with that particular rule didn't account for one such as Edward."

"I suppose not."

"Now Bella, forgive me, but I must ask what has happened to you."

"Yeah I figured. Well as I'm sure you can see, I was attacked, guy had a knife. I blacked out after that, so, I really can't fill you in on what happened."

"Yes, but Bella. What happened to you. I can smell the drugs in your system, and the neighbourhood you were found in; what were you doing there?"

"Carlisle, you know how fond I was of you, but it really is none of your business."

"When one of my family is brutally attacked and raped, I think it absolutely is my business."

"I'm not part of your family though, am I? I hoped to be, once, but I was stupid to think it would ever happen. Your my doctor, and I'm grateful for you piecing me back together, again, but that's all."

"Bella, I love you like a daughter. Now please, tell me what happened after we left."

I was getting annoyed now. I just wanted him to leave me alone.

"Well, I'm not your daughter, my dad is Charlie. Now, would you please leave me alone, I need to get some sleep."

"OK Bella, I'm not going to fight you on this. Speaking of your father, would you like me to call him for you?"

"NO!" I almost jumped out of the bed. Carlisle looked completely shocked. "Charlie and I don't speak any more." the sadness could clearly be heard in my voice.

"If only we'd known|." Carlisle muttered, so low I was sure I wasn't meant to hear.

"Do you have anyone we can call? You will need someone to look after you when you're discharged."

"No. I take care of myself. I'll be fine Carlisle." I said reassuringly. I just wanted this conversation to be over, but he wasn't convinced.

"Well, if there's no one. I'm going to keep you here in the hospital for a while, so, I can keep an eye on you."

"No way. I'm leaving tomorrow, I was on my way out of town before this happened, and I don't intend to stay now."

"That's out of the question, you are just too sick. Where were you heading Bella?"

"I don't know, just away from here."

"Bella, I'm so worried about you. I just can't let you leave, and have you thought about the man who attacked you? He's still on the loose."

"I'll be fine."

"No Bella, I don't think you will. I want to ask you something, and I would appreciate if you considered my offer rationally."

I knew I was going to regret it, but I agreed.

"Thank you. Well you see Bella, at the moment, Esme and I are the only ones in town. Alice, Jasper and Edward are visiting Tanya and her family and Rosalie and Emmett are honeymooning in South America."

I could see where this was going.

"So, if you would consider staying with us until you're feeling better, it would make me feel much happier." he looked at me, pleading with his eyes. "and I now Esme would love to see you again."

Esme, I loved her like a mother. She was the single sweetest person I had ever had the pleasure to meet. I missed her so much. The thought of seeing her was so tempting, but I knew that when I had to leave her again, my heart would break anew.

"Carlisle, I can't. I mean, it's kind of you to offer, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable."

"Bella, please. You don't know how much it would mean to me. Please.."

Just as I was about to protest, two policemen knocked on the door to my room.

"Come in" Carlisle said.

"Hello Doctor, Miss Swan. Is she well enough to answer questions yet?"

"I'm afraid not. She's very weak. Could you come back tomorrow?"

"Of course, we have a witness who saw the perp fleeing the scene, so we have a description to work on for now. You get well soon Miss Swan. We'll be back tomorrow."

"Thanks" I whispered as they made their retreat.

"Carlisle, I was fine. I could have spoken to them."

"Not tonight Bella. Now would you please reconsider. Think about it. If you come home with me, you'll be much more comfortable than you are right now, and Esme and I will ensure you get well, quickly. You can leave as soon as your feeling better."

I tried to fight the tears, which were forming, but it was no use, I began to sob. It had been so long since anyone had wanted to take care of me, I just couldn't help myself. I knew it would only hurt me more in the long run, but at that moment, it was exactly what I needed.

"OK, but I'm leaving before they get back."

"Of course. I'll call Esme, and have her prepare a room for you." he smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

Carlisle told me that it would be best for me to stay in the hospital for the night, in case I took a turn for the worse. As much as I hated hospitals, I was glad. I was really nervous about seeing Esme again, after all these years. I didn't know how much Carlisle had told her about me and my current situation. Luckily, I was so doped up with pain medication, that I wasn't having any withdrawal symptoms, so, I could get some sleep.

Carlisle woke me the next morning, and told me it was time for us to leave. He led me out to his car, which was waiting at the front entrance for me. He helped me into the back seat, so I could lie down and rest on the short journey. After only a few minutes, we turned off the highway, and made our way down a meandering country path. I wasn't surprised; the Cullen's liked their privacy, and it didn't get more private than this.

The Cullen's new home reminded me of the one back in Forks. It was beautiful and secluded. The garden was filled with beautiful cedar trees and pretty rose bushes – no doubt planted, lovingly by Esme. I hovered by the front porch, scared to enter the beautiful old home, until Carlisle gently encouraged me.

"Go on in Bella, Esme just can't wait to see you again."

As if on cue, Esme appeared at the doorway, looking beautiful as ever, smiling at me.

"Oh Bella!" she choked out. "I've missed you so much. Come here my dear."

She was so much like my mother, it hurt. I walked towards her, as slowly as I possibly could. She wrapped her arms around me, and began to sob, dry, tearless vampire sobs. My own eyes filled with tears in response. I wasn't used to feeling cared for, and I wasn't expecting such a show of affection. I was sure the Cullens would have moved on by now – I was just an insignificant human girl, after all.

"Hi, Esme. It's nice to see you again."

"I never thought I would see you again, Bella, but now my family is complete again. I'm so happy." she said, and, I noticed Carlisle give her a cautious look.

Here family? I wasn't family. Her 'son' had dated me for a few months, before he got bored and left me, alone and heartbroken. I was hardly family.

"Bella will just be with us for a short while Esme. She needs to rest, and I thought you could keep a close eye on her. You know how much she hates hospitals."

"Of course. I'm sorry Bella. This must all be a little overwhelming for you, I'm just so happy to see you again."

"It's fine Esme. It's nice knowing that someone cares." I said sincerely.

The look on Esme's face was one of pity and sadness. I hated being pitied. It drove me crazy. The pity in the eyes of my dad and the few friends I'd had in Forks had been part of the reason I turned to drugs in the first place. I needed to escape, and drugs were my release. Drugs. I hadn't thought about my habit until that moment, but as soon as I did, I began to crave. I didn't want Esme to see me, to think badly of me and what I'd become. I told her I was tired, and would like to sleep, if that was OK. She looked concerned, but showed me to my room. Carlisle followed after us, supplying me with a large dose of morphine for my pain. I was grateful. I knew tomorrow would be a hard day, they were going to ask me questions I didn't want to answer, but in that moment, I was happy to be with them, in a real home, with people who had cared about me.

I woke up to the sound of birdsong. It was beautiful, and a welcome change to the usual morning sounds of domestic disputes and heavy traffic, I had grown accustomed to at my own apartment. I noticed a fresh glass of water had been placed on the night stand, by Esme, I assumed and I drank it greedily. Carlisle must have heard me stir because he came and gave me a fresh dose of morphine for my pain. I took a long, hot shower – a luxury for me and I dressed in the clothes which had been left for me, again, I thought, by Esme.

I sat in the big, brown armchair across the room from my bed, and let my mind wander. I wondered who's room this was. There were no obvious signs, to let me know, so, I gave up, when there was a light knock on the door.

"Bella, its Esme, may I come in?"

"Of course, Esme, go ahead."

"How are you feeling dear?"

"OK. Carlisle gave me some more pain medication before he left. It seems to be doing the trick."

"That's good dear. I know you must be feeling awful right now, but do you mind if we talk?"

"What would you like to know Esme?"

"Carlisle has told me what happened to you, the attack I mean. I'm so sorry Bella its such an awful thing to happen. Would you like to talk about it?"

"I don't really remember much about it Esme. I suppose I was lucky that I passed out. Carlisle told me that I was beaten unconscious. I've obviously been cut, and I was..was, well you know, but I don't really remember much, and to be honest, I'd rather not think about it too much."

"OK dear, but please know, I'm here for you if you ever feel like talking about it."

"I Know."

"And Bella, there's something else."

Oh no. I saw it coming; the conversation I was hoping to avoid.

"Bella dear, he told me that he could smell heroin in your system, and that when he examined you, he found track marks on your arms. How long have you been taking drugs, honey?"

"Um, almost 5 years." I looked down.

"Oh no! This is all our fault, if only we ha-"

I cut in. "Esme, it isn't your fault. Things happen. How many girls get dumped every day? Not all of them end up drug addicts. It's entirely my fault. No one forced the needle into my arm."

"Oh Bella. We've failed you. If only we had stayed, we could have take care of you."

"Esme please, no blame. It happened, and there's no point going over it again."

"If you wish. Carlisle and I have been talking, and we're going to help you through this. Carlisle will pull some strings and get you into a good program. You'll be back to yourself in no time."

"I can't let you do that Esme. Those program's are so expensive , and besides, the drugs are the only things keeping me going, without them, my existence would be totally unbearable."

"I don't understand. Don't you want to be well again Bella?"

Of course, she wouldn't understand. She had never been deserted by her true love, left behind by the family she longed to be a part of. How could she understand?

"Esme, the only time I'm ever truly free from the pain is when I'm high. Sometimes, I have the most beautiful visions, they're so real, and the pain leaves me, for a while. If I had no drugs, I would just be left with my suffering 24/7, and that would be unbearable."

"Oh, my Bella. I just can't believe this has happened to you. You must let us help you."

"If you really knew me, you wouldn't want to be in the same room with me, let alone help me. I'm not the same Bella you left back in Forks 5 years ago."

"I know, Bella, and I love you just the same. I've always thought of you as my daughter and that hasn't changed."

"Esme, I'm a junkie, a dirty filthy junkie, and a prostitute. You should throw me out right now, and have nothing more to do with me.

"I can't do that Bella. You're family, whether you like it or not. We all love you, and we'd do anything in our power to help you."

"That's no true."

"It is Bella, please understand, you may not have our name, but you are a Cullen."

"That's sweet Esme, untrue, but sweet anyway. But, that's not what I meant. You said you all loved me, but that's not true. Edward doesn't love me, he never did. I was nothing, but a science project to him. The only girl whose mind he couldn't read. The girl with the powerful blood."

"Bella, you couldn't be more wrong."

Couldn't be more wrong? What was she talking about. I had been there in the woods five years ago. He had told me I was no good for him, he didn't want me. I wasn't surprised of course; I knew he was too good for me, but I was surprised that he didn't seem to have any feelings for me at all. I had thought, perhaps deluded myself into thinking, that he at least cared about me a little. The realisation that I had been mistaken, ripped my heart in two, and it was still broken.

"It's OK Esme, you don't need to spare my feelings like that. I know he didn't really feel anything for me."

"Bella, you're wrong, I will explain to you, if you'll let me."

I was about to tell her that there was no point, that Edward had made his feelings clear back in Forks, when the sound of a car cruising towards the house, interrupted me.

"Oh" Esme said, surprised. "Bella, you have to believe me, we didn't plan this."

"What are you talking about?"

"Bella, it's Edward. It seems he, Alice and Jasper have cut their vacation short."

I began to hyperventilate, then everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

_Edward's POV_

As we drove towards the house, I caught her scent. The most beautiful aroma, I had ever experienced, I thought I was gong insane. It couldn't be her, could it? I heard Alice's thoughts, she had smelled it too, and was hopeful. _Edward can you smell that? Bella's here, it has to be her, right? _She thought. I shrugged my shoulders.

Once the house was in view, I began to concentrate, listening out for any thoughts coming from within, and that's when I saw her – my beautiful Bella, for the first time in 5 years, through the eyes of my mother. If I'd had a heart, it would have burst right out of my chest. The speed of the car was not enough for me, I had to get to her. I opened the car door, and jumped out, running as fast as I could, back to my Bella.

It took me only a few seconds to reach the doorway of our new home, but in that time, I had been listening to Esme's thoughts about Bella. She was filling me in on everything that had happened. I couldn't believe I had allowed so many bad things to happen to my Bella. The pain was too much for me to bear, and I crumpled to the ground. I wanted so much to pick myself up and, go to her, but I couldn't force myself to move, and besides, she clearly didn't want to see me. I could here her exchange with Esme. She wanted to leave, she didn't want to face me – I didn't blame her.

"Edward, pull yourself together" Alice said, as she and Jasper stepped out of the car. "Bella's here, you have another chance. Don't mess it up this time."

"It's too late Alice! She doesn't want me...All the things I've put her through- I should have.."

Jasper sent a wave of calm, as it washed over me, I began to think more clearly. I wanted nothing more than to see Bella, but it was clear I would scare her away, so, I asked Alice to speak to her instead.

Alice's thoughts were going crazy, she was so excited that she would finally get to see Bella again, but she was concerned too. She could tell from my expression that something awful had happened, that it wasn't going to be easy seeing Bella again, but she had no idea why. She practically bounded up the stairs calling for Esme as she ran.

"Jasper, I need your help with something."

"Of course, what is it Edward?"

"I need your help to track someone down."

"OK, but why?"

"Because they hurt someone I love and, I'm going to kill them." I growled.

Jasper sent another wave of calm my way, and I managed to relax, just a little.

"Edward, of course, I'll help you, but are you sure it's wise? Carlisle will -"

"I'm sure Carlisle won't like it, but he will understand. If you knew what this man, if you can call him a man, had done to my Bella, you wouldn't even have to ask."

"OK, Edward, try to control yourself. What did he do?

"Jasper, he _raped_ her." if I could have cried, I would. "and then he beat her, and cut her and, left her for dead." I growled.

"When do you want to go? I'll get the car?" I knew Jasper would understand. He was thinking about the things he would do to any man who hurt Alice in that way, not that they would stand a chance.

"Not yet. I need to see her first Jasper."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Edward? I can feel your rage, your anger towards the guy. You might scare her."

"I have to see her, hopefully Alice will have calmed her down and, persuaded her to speak to me. You can help me stay calm."

"Edward, you remember what happened last time I got close to her. I almost killed her. All of this is my fault!"

"Jasper, no one blames you and, you don't have to get too close, just stay near enough that you can keep the situation in hand."

"OK, if your sure, but Edward, are you sure you can cope with being so close to her again. I've felt how you feel around her. I know how her blood calls to you and how hard it always was for you to resist, and you've been away from her so long.."

"Jasper, I _love_ her. You know that. I could no more cause her pain than I could Alice or Esme. You have to feel that."

"I know the depth of your feelings for her Edward. I'm not disputing that, but her blood is such a siren call; it's in our nature to spill blood. Your instincts could win out over your heart, it only takes one second and she could be lost to you forever."

"Trust me Jasper, it's not a problem, and Esme and Alice will be around to stop me should it come to that."

"You're right, of course. Let's go join the ladies. I'll be right outside the doorway if you need me."

"Thank you, Jasper."

I walked up the stairs at a human pace, even though I wanted nothing more than to run as fast as my vampire abilities allowed me. I wanted to run to her, scoop her up into my arms and run away with her, but I knew better. I doubted she would ever forgive me, and even if she did, she wouldn't want to be with me again. I had ruined her life, left her unprotected and alone. I wasn't worthy of her love, but I would take what I could get. Just being in her presence was enough for me, if that was all I could hope for.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with clean air – just in case I had to stop breathing and I knocked on the door.

"Esme, Bella, may I come in?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Guys, sorry I left it so long before posting this chapter, but I'm back now and, fully intend to finish the story. Hope you like it.**

Chapter 6

EPOV

"No, Esme please, I can't- he..' I heard Bella whisper to my mother.

"Shh it's OK Bella. We aren't going to make you do anything you don't want to."

"I cant see him, I won't" I felt my dead heart break when she uttered those words.

"Please Bella, I would like to see you, just for a moment."

She didn't respond, but I could here here movements and, through Esme's mind, I saw her gathering the few things she had together, ready to leave.

"Edward" Esme called. "Please would you go downstairs and wait. Alice and I will take care of Bella."

I wanted to protest but, I knew it wouldn't help, besides, I didn't want to get on Alice's bad side, she was mad enough at me as it was – I could see it in her mind. She didn't want to but, she couldn't help but hold me partly responsible for everything that had happened to Bella.

I turned and headed down to the kitchen, carefully focusing on both Alice and Esme's thoughts as I went. Alice was trying to remain calm. She had kept her distance from Bella, scared she would frighten her – even more scared she would be rejected by the girl she still loved as a sister, but all she really wanted to do was scoop Bella up into her arms and tell her everything would be OK.

I could see that Bella had been pleased to see Alice when she entered the room and this gave me hope. It was clear that she still cared for our family in some way and maybe, one day, she would forgive me and we could start again, even just as friends. I would take what I could get. Any relationship with my Bella was better than none.

I listened to Alice and Esme as they talked to Bella. She wanted to leave and they were trying to convince her otherwise, but she was still the same, stubborn, beautiful girl I had fallen in love with. She wasn't going to stay, wasn't going to speak with me. I almost laughed when she told Alice to shut up. It was so unlike Bella and, Alice was used to getting her own way, her lower lip jutted out into a pout.

"I'm sorry Alice, I didn't mean to be rude." Bella apologised. "But, I'm not the same Bella I was 5 years ago. I'm not going to let you guilt me into doing whatever you want."

"Bella I never- " Bella's laughter cut Alice off. It was a beautiful sound. God I loved her.

"Alice, really? You're not going to tell me that you never used guilt to make me do things. All of the shopping trips, dressing me like a Barbie! Ring any bells?"

Alice and Esme joined her laughter. "OK, I admit it. I'm a bad friend."

"No Alice you were a great friend. My best friend. Do you really think I would have let anyone else get away with it?"

Alice smiled. "I guess not."

"Now, it's been great seeing you again Alice and you and Carlisle too, Esme, but I really have to go now." My heart sank again.

"Bella, please just stay a few more days. You need to recover some more and we have so much catching up to do." Alice blurted out, all of her words flowing into one.

"Alice, I will be fine. I've been taking care of myself for a long time now and I will continue to do so. Besides, I really don't feel like swapping life stories with you."

Alice's face dropped into a pout again. I would have laughed if I hadn't just heard the love of my life declare she was leaving us – me again. I had to see her, stop her. I couldn't let her walk out of my life as I had so stupidly done to her. I needed her. My life without her had been nothing but a painful, empty existence and hers had not been any better if the thoughts I was reading from my mother were any indicator.

I ran up the stairs at full speed. I heard Alice caution me but, this could be my only chance, I was going to take it no matter what. I felt the familiar, comforting burn in my throat as I pushed open the door.

"Bella." I exclaimed.

"Hello Edward" she sighed.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

BPOV

Great! This was just what I needed! I knew he wouldn't listen to my wishes or those of his family – he never had before. I should never have agreed to come home with Carlisle but, I really had missed the Cullen's and, if I was being honest, I needed to feel the love of a family. I had gone so long without one that it felt nice to have someone take care of me again. I sighed and greeted him "Edward."

His face was just as beautiful as I remembered. His eyes bore into mine and for a minute I was lost in his beauty, lost in the past – a past where I was happy and in love and the world was a beautiful place. I knew that, if I let myself, I would get lost in those eyes forever and, I would be more than happy to do so. I had to work hard to remind myself that, the man standing in front of me was no longer mine – he had made that perfectly clear. The realisation shook me and I rose to my feet. I was leaving whether he liked it or not.

"Bella, please will you sit down, you don't look too good love, and I would like to talk to you."

"I'm not your love Edward and I have nothing to say to you. I'm sure you've gotten the story from Esme's mind anyway. What more is there?"

"Bella please, just give me a few minutes." he pleaded, his golden eyes staring into mine, threatening to turn me to jelly.

I knew that a part of me was still in love with Edward. When he left me, my feelings had remained the same. I hadn't even considered dating anyone else – it was him or no one. However, a large part of me hated him, too. He had lied to me, led me on. I didn't know why – maybe I was some kind of experiment to him, I couldn't say. But whatever his reasons had been, they could not be justified. It just wasn't right to tell someone you loved them, make them fall in love with you and then leave them just as quickly. Not right at all. I wasn't going to ease his conscience.

"Fine Edward, I'll speak to you for a few minutes, but them I AM leaving."

"Alice, Esme, could you leave us alone for a few minutes please?"

"Certainly Edward." Esme replied, pulling an unwilling Alice out of the room with her.

Alice. How I had missed her when they left. She was my best friend and the only person I could truly be myself with, other than Edward. I was so upset when she left me – betrayed even. Edward had realised he didn't love me and that was fine. I always knew he would come to his senses but Alice was different. I thought, maybe stupidly that we would always be friends, no matter what. It didn't matter to me she was a vampire and she couldn't care less I was a human – we loved each other. I didn't think she would leave me without a word. Did she ever really care at all? I thought she had looked happy to see me today but, she hadn't said much at all, and what did it matter anyway? I would be leaving as soon as this conversation was over, then I could try to forget about them all, again.

"OK Edward, what do you want to talk about." I said finally.

"Bella, you have no idea how good it is to have us here with you again."

Yeah right.

"Don't get used to it, I'll be gone soon."

"You can't Bella, where will you go?"

"I don't know. Back to my place, probably." I wouldn't but I didn't need him to know that.

"Where are you staying?"

"That doesn't matter. Now do you have anything else to say or can I go now?"

He slowly walked towards me, as though not to scare me and sat on the bed next to me. I flinched but did not move. Despite everything, I knew he wouldn't hurt me, physically anyway. As he began to talk, I felt a spark of electricity. I was sure he felt it too, but we both ignored it.

"Bella, I have some things to say and I would appreciate it if you would here me out. I know I have no right to ask this of you but, if you would just listen, it's important."

He sounded nervous. I wasn't used to that. Edward had always been so confident, it was strange to see him looking so vulnerable.

"OK, I'll listen." Damn it! I was so annoyed with myself. Even now, after everything that had happened, I was putty in his hands. He sighed a breath of relief and started.

"Bella, I love you -"

That was it. I was up on my feet. Who did he think he was, playing with my emotions like this. It wasn't fair and it wasn't nice. I was seething with rage. My cheeks turning red, when he clasped my wrists.

"Please, sit down. You said you would listen. You can leave when I'm done, if you wish." I thought he sounded sad, but I wasn't going to let him get his own way.

"Edward Cullen, take your hands off me right now. Just who do you think you are. You had your chance and you blew it." I didn't think he was being genuine anyway.

"I am going now. I don't want to see you or your family again. I loved you all once but, that part of my life is over now. If you don't respect my wishes I will expose you all."

I felt bad. I would never expose the Cullens, despite my words, I did still love them all. I just couldn't deal with seeing them again and them leaving and, I wasn't going to take any of their crap any more. You can't just pick people up and drop them whenever you feel like it.

I looked helplessly as Edward crumpled to the floor, a look of pain and anguish on his face. I had made him feel guilty. Well, maybe that's what he deserved. I knew the rest of his family would have heard me and, I regretted that. I didn't want to hurt them, even though they had hurt me, but I had to ensure they left me alone.

He was sobbing audibly now. I knew I shouldn't but, I had to comfort him. I knelt down and placed my hands on his cool cheeks.

"Edward, it's OK, you don't need to feel guilty. It's all in the past. You have to move on now, that's what I'm doing. I'm going now. Take care."

He didn't respond so, I picked up my things and headed downstairs. Alice and Esme greeted me at the bottom. They looked so upset, I had hurt them. Well it was too late to feel sorry now.

"Esme, thank you so much for your hospitality."

"Oh Bella, any time. It was the least I could do." she choked out.

"Thanks, but I won't be around much longer. It was nice to see you and Carlisle again."

I turned to look at my former best friend.

"Alice it was nice to see you again. We never got to say goodbye last time. At least we can do that now." I said more acidly than necessary.

"Bella I'm so sorry, I -"

"It's OK Alice. I'm sure you had your reasons. That's all over and done with now."

"At least let me give you a ride."

"It's fine, I'll walk" I said.

Alice looked so upset that I almost let her but, I didn't want her to know where I was, not that I knew where I was going anyway.

"Your still sick Bella. I can't let you walk, we're too far out from the city, you'll get lost."

"Fine. I'll call a cab."

She looked like she was going to argue, but decided against it.

"I'll call it for you and here" she passed me some money. "To pay for your cab and anything else you might need. "

I looked at the money in disbelief. There must have been thousands of dollars in my hand. So they thought they could buy me now, did they. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I declined as politely as I could.

"Alice, thanks but, I don't want your money."

"Bella, you have no money. How will you pay for your cab?"

"Fine. I will borrow just enough to pay my cab fare, nothing more."

She handed me back a few bills and I thanked her.

"Right, I'll head out to wait for my ride. Thanks so much for looking after me Esme. Alice"

I turned and stepped outside without looking back at the two women.

As I waited, I could feel his stare on me. I didn't need to turn around. I wasn't a vampire but, I could sense him just fine. He was watching me. I dared not turn back, I wasn't strong enough to see him again. Instead, I tried to work out a plan. I couldn't stay here, that's for sure. They were here now and I couldn't risk another encounter with my old family. Family. Charlie. The Cullens weren't the only family I had lost. I had a mother and a father who truly loved me and would welcome me back. Maybe it was time to make peace with Charlie.


End file.
